Men must act in marraige

Husbands taking lead to make marital bliss 

Robert Kyeyune Ssenyonga

When one gets married, they have signed up for a life time relationship. This will require each individual in this to work so hard at keeping the marriage hot and sizzling regardless of the number of years spent in it. Below are a few pointers on how to keep your marriage alive.

Law of proximity

Some couples spend a whole day without talking to each other. There is always a way of regular communication. Today I left the house at 5.30 am in the morning but I made sure while I was stuck in the jam, I called my wife and we talked. When I am at work, she sends me a text telling me how much she loves me. This helps keep our relationship strong.In a Christian marriage, the Bible is very important if you are married to a wife that is not prayerful , you can cause her to read it by sending her different verses throughout the day, she will definitely borrow a Bible to read it.

Always create something new to talk about, her beauty, the new dress she wore.Many men have also forgotten about being romantic. They do not hold hands in public; they do not tell their wives they love them or talk about them in public.

The power of the name

Many families in Uganda today have adopted the habit of calling parents by their children’s names say Mama Peter, Mama Jane or Mummy. In due time the husband also moves from calling his wife sweet heart or darling to Mama Peter . This implies that your wife is your child’s mother, but what is she to you? You need to use words like sweetheart, pretty or honey. This is powerful; it creates something more in the marriage bond.  Even in the bible, God changed Abrams name to Abraham. Marriage is divine, God deals with names, what you call each other matters a lot in thriving your marriage.

Supporting each other’s passions.

My wife was a football fanatic and I wasn’t.  I decided to develop an interest in football for the sake of being able to add football to our conversation. I would read the sports pages of the newspaper and concentrated on what was happening to Arsenal the team she supports. I ended up falling in love with the sport and now I support MANU we now talk about football and watch matches together which has created a bigger bond in our relationship.

If your wife’s passion is singing, agriculture, sports or politics, you can support them, go with them when they have a show or attend their game or help and participate in campaigning for her.

You cannot support something for years and fail to love it. People talk about politics and football more than they talk about their families and this breaks the bond.   However you can use these as a lead to talking about your family issues especially for spouses whose partners are never around. As you talk football, you can bring in family talk.

Transparency

We need to involve our wives in what we do. If it is your job let them know, there should be a minimum level of transparency with finances, openness on revenue and expenditure. Finances can make or break a home.

Every serious man must know beauty is made

Some men look at other women and wonder why their wives do not look as good. Whatever you see with the other lady, your wife has it all, take time to invest in your woman.  Buy her clothes, shoes make up, perfume. Do not go around admiring other people’s women make yours look nice in your eyes.

Over delegating leadership roles.

Even when a wife has more money than her husband  that’s not a reason to give away your role of protection, guidance, love and leadership to you her.

If you do not have money to pay tuition or fees, you can decide on what schools your children should go to and how your house should be run.

Men should be the decision makers of a home if your wife suggests that you do something and you don’t think it is for the benefit of the family, say no and give reasons why.You must provide protection to your family.

Married kids

A man who beats up his wife is a kid, a man who doesn’t provide for his family with the reason my wife can afford is also a kid. There are so many men that have gotten married but still act like children.

Trust

There is no marriage that can survive without minimum level of trust. Men that check their wives phones for male contacts, or become insure when around other men show that they have failed to trust their wives.

Family time

Make time for your family. My schedule before I got children, I used to go home late it has changed my schedule I am now accountable to not just my wife but also my children. Personally I do not pick up calls on Sunday afternoon; this is time for me and my children we go swimming, play games and talk. We have grown so close that they tell me stuff they cannot tell their mother.

Do not judge at the strength of marriage on how many times we disagree but on the number of times we are able to sit and understand each other.

Marriage is a learning process mistakes are made every day. You must learn, re-learn and unlearn. There are things you apply in the first year of marriage that may not apply after five years.

After ten years in marriage your wife may do something you cannot completely believe. So there is no complete theory to marriage.